Brooding: part two

Yielding hurricanes inside your tainted smile
Walking on paper thin bridges raised by the truth

How do you break through?

And the curse of the jealous fly
In the cocoon of a better lie
In the verse of a healing wound
My radiating gloom

It blooms into a pretty white
And soon into a pretty wife
It rooms inside a fluctuating lightthat shines and rhyhmes with the worst of tonight

A window sealed
A perished feel
A moment away to heal
Sniffing glue
Coz missing you

A serenade to break your zeal

Brooding: Part One

Spotting aeroplanes across the summer sky
Breeding pedigrees of a safer, more faithful you

How do i get through?

And the curse of the jealous fly
In the cocoon of a better lie
In the verse of a healing wound
My radiating gloom

It blooms into a pretty white
And soon into a pretty wife
It rooms inside a fluctuating light
That shines and rhyhmes with the worst of tonight...

The worst of tonight...

Orange Amnesia and Car Crashes ...

Last night, when i was driving home... a black mercedes rammed me and i lost all memory...

The bastard cut a signal, slammed and totalled my car and ran...


How was YOUR day?

*flips the universe*

Happy endings ....

I have been dousing in independent or independentisque' films recently. Atleast I would have liked to think so. And then the fact that the last three were either Warner Independent or Showtime Independent et al.

A soundtrack really makes the movie stand out and fall flat and if nothing, Happy Endings with its brilliantly simple yet entwined purple gum stuck to your sandals plot and character sketches COMBINED with the beautiful Maggie Gyllenhaal and Calexico soundtrack make this move one big aphrodisiac for the mind-works. Lisa Kudrow was not at all bad either! and we all know that Maggie is always so intensely great... its uncanny. Grab this film and find me the soundtrack mp3s and I shall die a happy wrestler.



Jesse Bradford was interesting as well, as he was in Eulogy. I loved Eulogy.





Anyhwho, check out Maggie Gyllenhaal's filmography.

Don't change your plans ...

All those readily bleeding moments, shimmering hung on the avenues of days gone by.
I guarantee, I disagree, I confiscate all the reveries. You dominate, you hesitate, you fascinate and you let me be.

All of the time you thought I was sad ... I was trying to remember your name

I have been filling the bath-tub up with hot scalding water... and falling asleep in it. Strange? When theres nothing left to burn; you must set yourself on fire.

God that was strange to see you again... introduced by a friend of a friend... smiled and said yes I think we've met before... in that instant it started to pour...

This scar is a fleck on my porcelain skin... tried to reach deep but you couldn't get in... now you're outside me, see all the beauty... repent all your sins

Its nothing but time and a face that you lose... I chose to feel it but you couldn't choose... I'll write you a postcard I'll send you the news... from the house down the road from real love.

I bought tonnes of dvd's again. On the binge...

The denial twist says:
ill have u x'in so hard ur gonna thnk ur a bee and try to squeeze thru key holes

Peasants of the modern blue...

The Dirty Street Lights revamp is done, I shall be posting the mp3 in the next blog so stay hither and stay click-ful. Let me just take a moment to say how much I adore mp3s blogs, from regnyouth to my-old-kentucky-blog, this girl needs therapy, against the grain, stereogum, aint no picasso, to the millions and millions of others that I hold dear to me and my insatiable downloading needs... Thank ya!

I shadow-box my closest friends; I knock them all out in the end ...

So I'm guessing I go with the Line 6 XT Pod, its USB activated see.. and although it dont have stomps like the ME50, it shall serve well for recording .... I dunno, its a toughie!

So this just one, you MUST have hydrogen peroxide in your ear every month at least, and Q-Tips are a no no... says rebel sweetheart. Hmm... in the words of Stewie Griffin: WHAT THE DUECE! Contrary to the H2O2 phenomenon, I presented the fact that cavemen, you know, those hairy bunnies back in the day; never used either of the two. And they still got laid. Point proven. I rest my case, and my arse for today ... See you again tomorrow, and oh there was nothing dark in this post! I just CANNOT let that be now can I?

DIE !

toodles

The Odds are 42 to 3

The odds are 42 to 3… the blushing brilliance of the bastard moments is such a pristine façade. It’s almost static, almost pleasant and almost always fatal. The concentric pull of circumstance is livid and lusciously overpowering. It renders you a helpless beanie baby, yielding and bending over backwards to avoid confrontation, conscience and correction. The ever impending doom dances shamelessly on your horizon, yet you fold. You chose to ignore. You concur yet not conceive. What a wicked way to be. A step forward and 298 steps back. Sideways falling and gingerly peering. You the rag-doll… you the rag-doll…

Sorry for the absence… but I am back now.

Over the weekend I shall be posting the redone “Dirty Street Lights”, a very rem-ish ditty. Till then…

Aik Dafa Ka Zikr Tha ...

You know what? I'm tired.

It's not even funny ... the sorry state of music right now, cheekyass kids with "underground" bands? Give me a flippin' break! Across to the opposite end of the friggin' spectrum .... the sell-outs. The paint my ass and face to whatever supari-colored whatyoumay and just get me on TV. I'll get the best looking girls in the video, I'll SO cross over to INDIA !!! OH MY GAWWD !!! INDIA !!! I swear, Atif/Jal the whole scene over here was like infested and sickening, and now its even more retarded, its a business! Screw art, screw sensibility. Just fucking sell out all of you. You never had any real talent to begin with.

*unleashes vitriol*

Seriously, its WAY past time to get real.


Ali Azmat is perhaps the only saving grace in a way? *shrugs*

In the meanwhile, download, distribute, redistribute, sell, copy, do whatever with this track. Everything else is going to be free soon, why not music? It's the digital way to go, no pun intended. Make music, total artistic freedom, upload onto the satellite of the world.

Download MP3:

Dye Corduroy - Aik Dafa Ka Zikr Tha ....

This song was more like therapy to me, I HAD to write it. HAD to sing it. It HAD to have the moodswings, the melancholy, the method and the message. An ominous undertone and just the most disillusioned train-wreck-of-thoughts.

Lyrics:

Aik Dafa Ka Zikr Tha ....

Inn kitaabon mein na hum tum rahey

Lafz dhull kay goonj baney

Inn khayalon mein na hum tum rahey

Hum millein gay kaheen

Hum millein gay yaheen

Raastey bhee tum ney chunnay

Faasley bhee tum nay kiyey

Jaanyey kaisey, Khwab daikhay

Aaj tum ney, Saath day kay....

phir say choor diya

behta darya mor loya

hum ney kiya kaha

tum nay kaya kiya

dekho kiya huwa ....

Iss hayaat mein kiya hum tum jaley

Aks bujh kar raakh baney

Inquilaab mein kiya hum tum chaley

hum millein gay kaheen

hum millein gay waheen

Baadbaan jab tum say khullay

Aandhiyon mein kiyon sung na dhullay

Raastay bhee tum nay chunnay

Faaslay bhee tum nay kiyey

Jaaney kaisey, Khwab daikhay

Aaj tum nay, Saath day kay ....

phir say chorh diya

behta darya mor liya

behta darya mor liya ....

Aik aasmaan kay tootay do sirray

Hum tum kehkashaan mein ghirray

Aar paar paaniyon mein beh gayey

Hum kehkashaan ko taktey reh gayey ......

Pistol-fighting blue/green apparitions ...

It was easy when we were younger ... we could put it back together ... Its the insatiable growing bittersweet ache of moulting and wilting and tethering and fading ... and ofcourse creating. Songs, words, disillusions, reveries and expectations. Feh.

Lots of new songs were upped on the www.pakistanirock.com/dye website. Thanks Imran :) Too bad we couldn't catch up on your trip here. Apparently, Imran was totally distraught with the prevailing and consistently depressing situation of things here.

Rebellion, anarchy, nihilism, chaos, angst, alienation of the youth and rejection of the establishment says:
but it is a miracle how that place runs it self
Rebellion, anarchy, nihilism, chaos, angst, alienation of the youth and rejection of the establishment says:
there is no law and order
Rebellion, anarchy, nihilism, chaos, angst, alienation of the youth and rejection of the establishment says:
no system
Rebellion, anarchy, nihilism, chaos, angst, alienation of the youth and rejection of the establishment says:
it is organized chaos
a d I L / sponge the miracle says:
its really jacked
a d I L / sponge the miracle says:
especially when u look at it from the outside
a d I L / sponge the miracle says:
when ure on the inside u feel differently I guess
a d I L / sponge the miracle says:
u know its there
a d I L / sponge the miracle says:
but u can sort out better ways round everything as well
a d I L / sponge the miracle says:
more satisfying ways
Rebellion, anarchy, nihilism, chaos, angst, alienation of the youth and rejection of the establishment says:
I read lot that musharaf had done this and done that and made lots of changes
Rebellion, anarchy, nihilism, chaos, angst, alienation of the youth and rejection of the establishment says:
but I surely did not see a single change from 10 years ago
Rebellion, anarchy, nihilism, chaos, angst, alienation of the youth and rejection of the establishment says:
makes me not wanna come back for another 10 years
Rebellion, anarchy, nihilism, chaos, angst, alienation of the youth and rejection of the establishment says:
and you know what - I probably wont
Rebellion, anarchy, nihilism, chaos, angst, alienation of the youth and rejection of the establishment says:
but I take my hat off to ppl like you who survive there
a d I L / sponge the miracle says:
heh
a d I L / sponge the miracle says:
musharraf? wot can he do dude
a d I L / sponge the miracle says:
seriously,
a d I L / sponge the miracle says:
except for putting in army ppl on all high posts
a d I L / sponge the miracle says:
and wanking

{Download} Dye Corduroy - Many Yellow Days (MP3)

This song was written in 1999, in the loud post-grunge neo-alternarock phase. Above is a pic of the original lyric sheet with chord scribblings and edits.

{Lyrics}
To me singing your name out in the ugly rain
in six ways to sunday was alleviance
And my armory would rust from the morning drench
in whispers only did we ever find strength

And we ride away on wooden buildings
They speak of murder as they speak of you & me
We are stained but we are running wild

And your belief in me is my new indemnity
A sullen melody is all I'll weave
Do you begin to see you're all that has broken me?
Will you resign or will you revive?
I'm fading helplessly ...

And we ride away on wooden buildings
They speak of murder as they speak of you & me
We are stained but we are running wild

Many yellow days was she ....

You'll believe in what you need
And the silence will thus yield
When you believe in what you need
All the silence will thus shield

Many yellow days was she ....

Your haste; watch it drip
As your faith is on the slip

Next post shall feature the new urdu songs. And an infant samurai.

This bliss .... then the distortion

(This sleep remains a part of this beautiful mess ...)
I hate waking up these days; its utterly the bland realization of this palpable feeling of total resolute emptiness ... and distance ...

(The distance between here & above is measured through self and not fame ... )
And I crave for the measure, perhaps the last stretch seemed near ... how long, how far? And then the catapult slaps a rape on your face, in the form of a dream ...

(I dreamt I was a satellite in the orbit of her arms and it was warm but it wasn't long till I woke up alone ... )
So I slept, and so I awoke ... revive my resign again.

(Lost between you and me and everyone less shy of letting life pass them by ... )



I found my old spiral book. These parenthesis excerpts are from songs/poems found in that ...

(In the circus that has lured her away from me
I play the part where everything has started not to be
Although you are painted in the brilliance of bright sun-lit days
I have waited forever in shadows to rectify my misery)
( untitled #57 - spiral notebook )

A couple of more songs written, a couple recorded. Next post should carry the bop-grungy-rock Many Yellow Days ditty.

In the corner of the former
Writing letters to make words
No denials no surrender
Just a very fragile world
( only sirens - dye corduroy )

Solace in ... solace out

Lots of catching up to do ...

New songs lying around, they shall be up soon. Yousaf and Amna got engaged, congrats guys. MAQ ! ! ! He's hitched now ! Meeting up with Jafri and Salma was kool. Nazi-processing of the FCPS application done, finished today. All documents in order for once. Feh. I'm reaaaaallly old now arent I ?


Lots of pics to share so essentially lots of photoblogs coming up.

Have you ever waited for something sooo long .... and yet never given up? But recollection becomes obsession ... and obsession gets erratically displeasing. Wisdom, then, is the only saving grace? feh. And everything you learn is everything you've lost. So why have I learnt so much then?

The snake dream was NOT nice, the ending of it WAS though.


« f ( x ) » says:
cd jalti. thori dair tak daiti.
a d i L / sponge the miracle says:
okee
a d i L / sponge the miracle says:
thankus
a d i L / sponge the miracle says:
u always burn at the bloggest of moments
a d i L / sponge the miracle says:
thus the mention u earn

legend: « f ( x ) » = waisee poo.


till tommorow night, i beg leave.

Drowning in the Brevity ...

Blekh.

4 new songs done, all mixed and sitting pretty in my hard drive waiting to be upped. Soon Mildred, soon ...

The last one that I've just finished is called "jang" and the interwoven music part turned out much bigger than I expected, quite the aural soundscape. Someone suggested it deserves an instrumental release as well ... anywho, there is a "jang part deux" which was originally part of the song but will now be a separate track, essentially a response ... aspiration of sort to the murky and quite miserable part I.

Other than this, Falak, Kaalee Raatein and Many Yellow Days are awaiting the bus ride to cyberphuckcity.

I got a promotion, whoop dee doo. The Counting Crows' Long December has been playing in my head for quite a bit now, perhaps the California reference ... Saadia thinks that Adam Kadleck reminded me of Adam Duritz but that's not the case, but Adams' California roots did stir up thoughts of a lot of songs with California references, also my own Emily Wells ode Emily Faraway. Then I go on to see OC which has my favorite Cali. reference song as the title theme: Phantom Planet's California. LOVE the song to pieces. Topping it all Rufus' Waniwrights' California also played in the second episode I think ... and I've been hooked on to OC, obviously its all about Cali.

Oh, Waisee Poo burnt more goodies for me :) (FYI - that nick gave birth to itself, all good music providing and kool ppl become "-ee poos" in mine and saadias mentions) Finally managed to find the Dresden Dolls. Poochie went erratically devious on one spin of "Coin operated Boy". Lets keep the dresdens away from her for a bit eh?

Lots of events looming round the corner, MAQ's getting hitched, YouseeKoosee and Amna are getting engaged-type-thing and ofcourse mk's birthday ... which reminds me, did we miss KK's birthday? I knew it was a pre birthday bash but WAS there a bash? Feh. I need to be good to my car again ... the aliens that hid underwater need to die or come out already ...

*the amazing problem solving brevity of Waisee-poo*

a d i L / decibels of this disenchanting discourse says:
dude, the bigbrutha inda hood
a d i L / decibels of this disenchanting discourse says:
whenever i try to charge a case it gives me that underlying connection closed error
a d i L / decibels of this disenchanting discourse says:
any idea wot the dealio is?
« symmetric chaos » says:
yeah. IT

Write in Blood ... Dip in Hope ....

You spend light years detailing your world
& another day polishing the pearls
You turn around for a moment but
All your kindgom crumbles at the sight of a girl

You stand still & let wander your gaze
You recollect all the lines you erased
You make a killing yet still unwilling
You migrate to wishful meadows to graze

& what a life does she promise?
What infinite mounds of felicity ...
Where you may sip the drink of bliss
What reverence you dream of; what velocity!

You write in blood & dip in hope
Your hands inept, your mind eloped
You drag the world all to her feet
You feel her slowly envelope

She looks to and then looks away
A passing word, she tends to say
You think her diamond, she judges you coal
She blossoms into your goddess of dismay

& the castles that you raised
Come crashing down in this cavalcade
Such is love, dear fragile self
& such is hell through which you must wade

___________________

Poem from my as yet unpublished book "Dirty Street-lites"

Annotational Baggage ...

Its been ages since i blogged ... i know ... and MUCH has fallen, much has burnt. Sickness, virility, a split second of felicity, many old demos and many new songs later: here I am.

Blekh.

Hmm ... my tumultuous relationship with my song "falak" hit all sorts of new lows and highs. Anyhow, we settled the D out of court and I managed to finally make an eccentric mix of the song that does some sort of justice to the many layers of pure blatant misery and arrogance that the song enshrouded itself with. Expect that to be up in the next post.

It is so unbelievably HOT ... ( the weather, not anything much otherwise ) I cannot recall any summer in my WHOLE life being this hot ... and there is supposedly a water crisis, and the motherloving WAPDA have been tripping quicker and quirkier than the crystal method. Conditions are getting muchly inhabitable. Time to hitch a quasar out of here.

Apna Song Featured and Publicized Shamelessly: Dye Corduroy - Hum Hain Inquilaab (download-rightclick saveas)

This one was recorded in 2004, early 2004. It deals with how personal and at the same time public/social your drive for a change, some sort of a coup', some meaningful intervention can be. Yet the realization that even though the road we've been forced to drive on is the same for everyone, the judgment of wrong and right, the bliss in ignorance and the pain in wisdom, the difference in this all is blatantly see-thru. So the roads the same, but the destination different. And yet we ARE the revolution, feh, not. Just a mere mirage of it. We'd WISH we were it. The real deal, but we've got a long way to go.

Lyrics:

Tayrey Mayrey Raaston Mein Hain
Jitney Raastey Utnay Kaantay
Tayree Mayree Manzilein Hain Juda
Duubtee Sehar Kay Bikhray Saanchey

Hum Hain Inquilaab;
Ka Jhoota Saraab
Hum Hain Inquilaab.

Tayrey Har Azam Kee Taqdeerain
Dhull Gayee Hain Iss Siyaahee Mein
Tayree Yay Khanaktee Zanjeerain
Khwab Kheenchtee Hain Taabeerain

Hum Hain Inquilaab;
Ka Jhoota Saraab
Hum Hain Inquilaab.

Hum Hain Woh Azaan
Jo Hai La-Zubaan
Hum Hain Lamaqaam
Ikk Toota Armaan

Hum Hain Inquilaab.

random blogworthy semi-incidents:

n u said nothin at al; wel i culdntve said it beter myself 2nigt da conversation takes da fal just luv me like u luv nobody else says:
itni fazool thi
n u said nothin at al; wel i culdntve said it beter myself 2nigt da conversation takes da fal just luv me like u luv nobody else says:
adhi urdu mein thi
n u said nothin at al; wel i culdntve said it beter myself 2nigt da conversation takes da fal just luv me like u luv nobody else says:
i didnt get much of it
a d i L / decibels of this disenchanting discourse says:
woah
a d i L / decibels of this disenchanting discourse says:
sex in urdu is still sex ....



PERSPECTIVE ! CONTEXT ! That's all I ask off you fiends.

Oh news flash: Rahemiin (not a typo) *finally* realizes she shud contribute to the band. *KUTTAY KAB SEY TUMHEIN KEH RAHOO HOON* *buss sweater* *nervous giggle*

Anyhow, we shall overcome! AND thus put down "Bhulaana Na" and "Pyaase Zameen / Kaaley Baadal" *combine yousaf dissing session: notable incompatibility with alternarock posturing, reference: yousaf heard screaming Pyaasay KaalleeAAaaaaAaaeeeYYyy at random dye corduroy concerts* Watch this space for follow/fuckups.

*she keeps staring at me writing this: her excuse, "mujhey shugar ho gaya hai, jaisey Ross ko ho gaya tha"*

Mohammad Ponko Khan !!! You blauuddyy !

say hello to the angels says:
finally
say hello to the angels says:
i GET occlusion!
say hello to the angels says:
feh
a d i L / decibels of this disenchanting discourse says:
DONT FEH ME
a d i L / decibels of this disenchanting discourse says:
i work
a d i L / decibels of this disenchanting discourse says:
i earn
a d i L / decibels of this disenchanting discourse says:
i sweat
a d i L / decibels of this disenchanting discourse says:
.
say hello to the angels says:
suhhveet
say hello to the angels says:
my butt hurts

The Profound Death of Self

Argh.

I know all these things. I profess them at times as well. Change is the only constant. All good things must come to an end. Happiness makes up in height what it lacks in length. But it sinks in, ever so gently yet spares no synapse ... it aches. They say you hurt and hurt and hurt and hurt and hurt and then you become numb ... what happens when past that? When you've been numb and now are hurting again, and since you were numb you weren't expecting to experience it again. Again and again and again. The bad thorn in your side, it never really went away ... the sun never really did stop beating down on you ... you just passed away for a bit. Such spins the carousel of disdain and defeat.

My defense becomes my rhetoric at times. My innate urge to die beautifully, or kill fearlessly, or breathe masterfully ... feh, it consumes me. The gravity of all around me; of the mere acknowledgment that empathy, sincerity and expectations bring weights me down. Just what is with this insatiable need of everyone around me to win? Every little way, every argument, every kissing game, every show and tell, every drive, every runaround, every engagement, every instance? Carnal. How I lust for a little ignorance so that it may bring a little bliss.
But essentially it always will be: Your redemption, my penance.

My friends were enemies upon stilts with their heads in a cunning cloud?

I feel an era is about to end ... leaving ... never easy eh? It has not *mesh*ed in yet....

New Dye Corduroy Track - Bhool Na Saka ...

Just recorded this track a week back ... lots of fun experimentation going on here as well:

DOWNLOAD: Dye Corduroy - Bhool Na Saka (mp3 192/kbps)

The song structure is very interesting to me coz it goes from Intro, Verse1, Prechorus, Chorus to Bridge to Solo and THEN to Verse2, Prechorus, Chorus, and Outro. Kind of deconstructing a song for the first time for all to see ...

Instruments used: Acoustic and Electric Guitars, Bass, Tambourines, Toothbrush. Drum programming: Thru ye ol' fruity loops, random recorded drum-sounds by yours truly used.

All instruments and programming by moi' ofcourse. Almost dislocated my wrist playing the freakishly fast tambourines in the prechorus! Also note, the tambourine track is a mix of toothbrush on tambourine skin AND the seperate tambourine playing. To me the funnest part was the bridge of the song coz it follows the first chorus directly and its really fun to play, very punk/grunge feel to the four chord progression that i use there.

The solo is absolutely whack, with the guitar in left channel playing the main guitar lead, right channel guitar doing the slug-a-chug layback and the bass/octave going whack and floating from middle sections to either channel (mostly left), ending in ofcourse a wah-wah-subsiding scene and a mini bass solo before the second verse rebound garage rock thump.

AAANNND the stops... thats my version of playing with intense dynamics, it goes from vocal stretch to *silent halt* and then back to chorus. whee.

Anywho, here are the lyrics:

Bhool Na Saka

verse1
Apnay Raastey; Bhool Kay Bhee Aashna
Tayrey Waastey; Har Zehr Har Imtihaan
Apnay Haath Mein; Khwab Saarey Hain Jawaan
Par Zehan Mein; Tootay Waadon ka Jahaan

prechorus
Kashmakash Kee Har Lehar Mein Goonjay Tayree Sadaa
Aasmaan Kay Jhootay Rangon Mein Bhee Tayree Hayaa
Mayree Aankhon Mein Inn Dhaltey Dinn Ka Bojh Buss Gaya
Tayraa Khayaaal .....

chorus
Bhool Na Saka
Tayraa Khayal
Bhool Na Saka

bridge
Mayrey Azam Kay Uljhay Dhaagey
Ikk Taraf Hai Andhera, Ikk Taraf Aag Hai ....

verse2
Paas Faasley, Duur Hain Woh Kehkashaan
Tootay Silsilay, C'hat Gayey Saarey Armaan
Mitt Sakein Gay? Iss Toofan Kay Nishaan
Abb Yahan Inteha; Abb Yahaan Inteha ...

prechorus
Kashmakash Kee Har Lehar Mein Goonjay Tayree Sadaa
Aasmaan Kay Jhootay Rangon Mein Bhee Tayree Hayaa
Mayree Aankhon Mein Inn Dhaltey Dinn Ka Bojh Buss Gaya
Tayraa Khayaaal .....

chorus
Bhool Na Saka
Tayraa Khayal
Bhool Na Saka

This song was written around 6 months back on an acoustic guitar; and later on reinvented in the distorted blah that it has become :)

Barely out of Tuesday ...

Okay, this post is going to be about an official log i found in my journal. Its about a trip us house surgeons ( select few ) took to Kalabagh and froze our heads off. This was atleast 6 months? 8 months? ago but it makes interesting reading, here goes:

Lame Ass Trip #2
Official Log
10:30 am, Tuesday
(barely off of) Ravi Bridge

16 people ... most of them/us are LaAaAame! (Zach Braff style) I hope some of them are on the pill!

Well anywho, we're out in this bitchin' bus as compared to last times zero-legroom Nazi concentration camp ride. Another pseudo spontaneous wannabe exploit. However, this one is more sane, calculated and pampered. It's like a Beverly hills bastard as compared to a Nevada bitch. AND its only 2 days; so it should be packed full of good minty delights.

(pen shaking, scribbled text)
This on the move log is going to be a bitch to decipher later, but as it all shall be squeezed out my own mental vagina, it'll be fine. I've seen a couple of locations for the vdo, this weird Japanese looking trainstop reddish thingies.

So if we do generate the amount of drama, intrigue, deception, jealousy, sex and sarcasm that all of us potentially can conjure, then this just might be a screenplay to a block-busting neo-grungy freaky doctor industrial butt baring flick.

We've got 3 couples and no potential sexual tension to develop yet another one, so this will be quite the constellation of frustration. Pushing coconuts through coaster windows won't do much for your intellect, not even cause reason for alarm. But it JUST might inflate your sense of indifference.

So one day on a stage wit ha super 6000 watt sound brigade & 38 floor pedals, i might be so inclined to sing a song about today, maybe tomorrow?

Anything can look like your much awaited vista of inspiration. banana sex. mobile poker. naked barks of devoid trees.

I'll sell this later, so the lame ones can pretend to associate some sense of deeper emotion or a true nostalgic blowjob of memory as they read this. I have good music on, a good headset, a view of everyone and yet no one at all, so things are looking pretty fucking good. 10:23 am ---- out.

*now the next log entry was next morning, which coincidentally was the last bit of entry i made for "interesting" reasons, read on*

9:15 am / deep frozen ramblings

Well, yesterday the trip (bus-ride) went on and on and on .... quite a tragic hippie winding route we rode. We got to the PAF base around 5:00 pm & froze our EYES out. Suites galore though ... really nice 2 room / 2 bath / kit. suites we got ... I, Pupps, Yousee, Chirra and Naeem stayed in one; the rest of the go-getters in the next and the girls uphill/upstairs. The temp. MUST/should/would have been minus something. Dinner at 7, preceded ofcourse by Pupps, Amir and I scooby-doobeying and catching the wave. After dinner we directed our lemming-frozen selves to the TV room and scoured through the movies. Went out to take piccies in the dark and did other random freaky stuff ....

*the log is cut off here for obvious reasons and nothing more about the trip was ever written*

*blip*

Season of the Witch

Last night was the full moon. I'm not fairly superstitious, sometimes I wish I was ... but anywhoo ... work was hectic, FAQ's being assembled, munky this, munky that. There was the ever-present dilemma down the alley of 'future never happened' & the coming of age, practicality, conditionality, circumstance and action. feh.

As I got off work at 1am and walked out to my car, I noticed the blaring full moon, ‘twas very bright and as full as I’d ever seen it. Point noted, sat down in the car and drove back from the orthoclear office, onto Raiwind road, a km down it to reach the Motorway junction, Thokar Niyaz Beig, and onto the canal .....

Now there’s a very lonely stretch of road that comes as you get on the road; with the canal on one side and the semi-dense green belt on the other side. The road stretches out straight bathing in its orange streetlight glory, no wagon/bus stop for quite a bit. (Prologue) Now a college friend who lives right close to my new place had mentioned many times how he has seen things that go bump in the night; witches, apparitions and wot not on the canal-road. Not just once or twice but many many times. Since I’ve moved here I’ve always been peripherally on the lookout and never got 'lucky'. Basically just wanted to see what he saw ... or wondered if it was even true. Anywhoooo .... so I’m driving back, hit THAT lonely stretch of road, its 1:15 am and suddenly I see this taller that 6 and a half feet woman type figure walking in the same direction as I was driving, thus with her back towards me; dressed in maroon/red longish clothes with her head covered in it. I was like, hmmm, yea right, now she PROBABLY wont appear in my rearview when I whizz by her at 80 km/h and I can tell another urban legend ... and it happened. As SOON as I passed the walking figure, I instantly looked in the rearview, (average delay .5 seconds?) and there ya go. Clear road. No woman, no long ass red clothes. Just the plain road, empty behind me in rearview as it was ahead of me.

Interestingly, about 3 years ago on our beloved canal, Rahimeen, Saad and I were out, I was dropping them home after a jam (Dye Corduroy members na). We were caught in this huge thunderstorm and the rain was pouring down like krazy, branches fallin over & wot not. All of us to this day vividly remember seeing a TALLish (over 7 foot) figure appearing in our headlights in the midst of the water, almost wading, holding a wad of branches on its head. I remember hitting the breaks but we just seem to go right through it and there wasn't any impact or anything we cud see in rearview. THAT was chilly as well. I don’t think I still have a rock solid opinion but just thought I’d share my full moon mini-urban legend slash supernatural slash superstitious semi kool experience.

After getting home, I switched on to see my next Dawson’s Creek episode that was in cue and surely, it was titled Full Moon Rising ( DC Season 2 episode 5 ) and they did talk about the full moon and its weird effect on all of us.

Sheebus.

All fotos by Rebel,Sweetheart ( refer to first post for a quote :P)

Solace, Mittens & Slumber

She sips in a song; slipping out of the radio

She knew way too well; that fairytales were always come and go

And "choice words" she thought; as they drifted apart

He wrote the lines that he knew would only break her heart

So she clutches on to the objects of her fading dreams

She slept too long and woke up struggling to shake the scenes

And "choice words" she thought; as they drifted apart

He wrote the lines that he knew would only leave her scarred

EXCREPT FROM AS OF YET UNPUBLISHED BOOK "DIRTY STREET-LITES"

If You Like Pina Coladas .....

Nope, no rebound for moi' .... mostly the brickwall and mostly the pitfall. 79 and 38 ways that you have bled in the last 24. each so radiant. each so alluringly disillusioning. Should've known better.

Shall be re-recording tonnes of my old songs, Tehreerain, Bhool Na Saka, Qareeb, Dastak etc etc. as well as record new songs Kaalee Raatein, Mujhey eidee do, Bayriyaasat Ka Nawaab and Siyaah Savairay.

Ponkos' unwell. Thats not kool. Mesh is grieving.

Okay, I still yearn for certain anime that I can't find. Also lots of movies that have gone missing from the face of the dvd-pirated-nonpirated-factory-nonfactory market.

Where’d you want to go to with nothing beside you

But webbing and curfews and rain

And everything that hurts you gets locked up inside you

Like butterflies with wings or other perfect things

(Counting Crows - Butterfly In Reverse)

Huma says:
u had a pina colada at freddys and went all yay about it in front of a freddys ka pina colada deprived soul
a d i L / vicissitudes of constant dismay says:
errr ... o k a a yyyy ...

Everything on the shared folder is GONE !#@!#$@! stupid IT ppl .... I hate em all. Eternally lame they are.

Feh. I shall blog more tommorow, for tonight I am spent.

I'm just staring at the ceiling staring back

Just waiting for the daylight to come crawling in on me...

Masterful Westerville Rebound

Could it be?

A rebound in fate? The many yellow days have turned over?

After masterful handing of the Westerville Ohio call, and downloading Ali Azmats brilliant Na Rey Na video .... I GET A RAISE!!!!

Whee.

A rabid race for the decoy prize .... and if I shall I never would.

Attack of the Killer Rabid Munkies ...

All this time spent apart comforts me

that you were designed to make me blue

All my rhymes are not from the heart

I believe ...

All my favorite nightmares sleep with you

( Lucid - excerpt from my as yet unpublished post modern Dirty Street-lites book )

So I was going to take up this space for some selfless self promotion (hey! Back off). Okay, I'm bad at that I think, feh.

Dye Corduroy is my alternative rock band. I upload all the songs that I record on the faster pakistanirock server here. There IS an iuma page. And a www.download.com/dye thingie. Basically with over 100 unrecorded songs and 20481359701359 demos to deal with, I'll forever be updating and uploading as I record at my home studio. Instruments we use? Guitars, acoustic, electric, bass. Salt shakers, arabic drums, dead gerbils, violins, and voice recorded acoustically. Fruity loops for drums and old skool cool edit for my mixing needs. The official website of Dye Corduroy, that I haven't updated in ages is at http://drive.to/dye. More on us later.

So theres nothing wrong with my tooth. Whoop dee do. Yes, even us dentists get scared of tooth trouble. See one day I felt my lower left first molar was being overtly sensitive. And since I was doing my housejob rotation in Diagnosis, and get to see 4920245 caried teeth each day, I feared for the worst. But its all kool :) nothing wrong, hence the x-ray.

Ponko needs bashing. Severe bashing. But maybe its time that a different role was assumed, maybe a little stepback obturation ... a little time and space. I remember when I was 19, so I *can* relate to certain things, but then it does get outta hand. Bad, BAD munky.

Ramblings: The song repository at work is flourishing! Its all gooooood .... We might be going live at orthoclear today, infact, we did, so works going to be a biatch now. I hate driving to LMDC, its MILES away coz of the stupid underpass under construction, the detour through cantonment and the secret mahfoozpurah cannt. location. Even if I speed and have Muse's Time is Running Out, it takes 35 minutes at the least, and invariably they JUST put in the two dreaded red lines which I sign over. HMPH ! Thats 7 straight red line days. Things like these make me angry(ier) at the world.

Forcefeed Song (mp3): Ben Folds - Give Judy My Notice.

Click to download.

Choice Quote from the song:

"Judy,Could anyone be loved any more

Than I love you? Does it hurt you too?

But Judy,I wont be your bitch anymore

And follow you round, And hold the door"

Recurring Funerals ...

Share it while it tastes best in your head. Definition of best relative and subject to change. First things first: Ponko sucks. We've established that essentially. I can never have my circadian rhythms back. The concert on friday was smashing, but i'm way too overworked ... and the chip on the moonshine? Not kool.

I'm numbed by loss now. I'll just wait for the emotions to bullet train back if they should find a crevice to do so. I dont want to get monkeyed anymore.

Mesh " because you cannot expect things from anybody, everybodys an @%%&@le"
We have established that havent we?

Mesh "somethings you just cannot say out loud"
Yes, i know.

First I told most people and then Mesh about Gloomy Sunday, the suicide monger song. (You can find 5 versions of it here, go for the Billie Holiday one for maximum wrist-slashing incentive) .

And THEN i recommend the "Virgin Suicides" to Mesh.

Mesh " Come out and say it, you want me dead dont u? munky"

Read the reference of suicide to Gloomy Sunday here. NOW infidel!

rebel, sweetheart says:
"and all her hot jewelry too threw the hoes off"

mesh "we're brainless idiots"
No we're quite brainy.

mesh "well, we're emotionally dead"
No we feel WAY too much.

Constraints. Lamer.


rebel, sweetheart says:
"one of those days
where u shower
and still feel icky
that 'not so fresh' feeling"

Ahh, indeed, that not so fresh feeling. Its whats been tugging on my ever pressing suicide anyway. I realize i should slowly inject band inklings here ... hmmm ... maybe tommorow ... i.e. if orthoclear doesent go "live". Argh. But haven't I been known to take the slightest of crevices and turn them into corridors of confirmity ? We'll live to see ...

The Occupation Of Sleep

To think that you are able to believe and to desire ... yet unable to achieve and nametag. Minor erratic methods to moments, vicissitudes of constant dismay. You wake up to the dirge of the silent film playing in your head. You crawl to the wishing well of your serrated ways. You walk inch by inch to the precipice of unfullfillment. It’s a friendly whisper of life passing you by...

You name (maim) all the animals in the raindance that surrounds your static struggle of being heard, being felt, being echoed, being loved. You sleep with yourself, chase, catch up, leave behind and erase your self. One by one, like picking perfect round pebbles, you fling your selective memories into the mirage you thought was the river that breeds you insatiable.

So my nametag reads Adil ... I like to document every sensationally demeaning and silently screaming emotion into songs. It’s been years, and the six strings continue to be my accomplice instrument in the consolation parade. Welcome to my blockbusting neo-grungy freaky doctor industrial butt baring flick.

My band Dye Corduroy and the many mp3s I upload can be found at:

http://www.pakistanirock.com/dye/dye.htm